As a child I just remember wanting to be a school teacher, vet or even a popstar the typical things a 6 year old girl would think about. I don't personally remember this but it's a story my mum tells me all the time, at young age I told her 'I don't want to grow up mum, I want to stay little forever.' which I think is a pretty profound thing for such a small innocent mind to think but sitting here at 22, I still feel the same.
Uniformity and tight scheduled scare me beyond anything, repeating the same thing over and over in my mind is tedious. I could think of nothing worse then routine. Which is probably why I never see myself in full time work. My affinity with freedom has come at a price as I teenager I rebelled against school, sitting in one room for over an hour listening to a drone of information that made my brain switch off instead of on wasn't for me. Laughing, enjoying people and enjoying moments is what my heart butterflied for back then and as I look back on it now I sometimes kick myself for not trying harder but almost all the time, I smile.
I might not have the dream career but working in retail however stimulates my brain and keeps me occupied for a few hours, my customer service skills are amazing I enjoy seeing other people smile and I talk to everyone like they are family, Working in retail also gives me a security that having a full blown career never would, I can leave at any time, not saying I ever would as I currently love my job but just knowing if it ever got to me or pushed me too far I could drop it like in a second and move on to the next one without a second thought.
In my personal life I suppose letting happiness lead the way has given me a different outlook. I don't constantly have to be on the move and sometimes I won't be seen for weeks, I'll just be in my happy little bubble. I go through phases of enjoying different things the last few months I've done nothing but shop, shopping was the source of happiness and now that's subsiding slightly and doing nothing but relaxing. watching TV and being with my fiancé is filling me up with so much contentment, that's what I like the most, having the power to do what I want all the time, If it makes me happy then I'll do it plain and simple.
It's not for everyone and know way am I saying this is how you should live, this is just what my life is like, there are other reasons why including some serious anxiety issues as to why I've chosen this direction but I feel like that's for another post! I want to look back when I'm old and grey and think 'gosh I was so lucky to be that happy.'
What makes you happy?